Sits Down and Gets Serious About Writing....Oh Look, Google!

This morning I sat down to my computer and continued a story I was working on. 

I just had breakfast, had a warm, half drunk tea on the table, the curtains pulled back and I was rugged up, ready to go. 

I was in the zone. 

My head was buzzing with ideas but still had a focused mindset. I managed to string out a few paragraphs too. 

Then I got stuck. Not dramatically; my character needed a hat - I was determined on it. But What type of hat? I'm not an expert on hats in general, let alone men's hats, but I needed a specific type of hat this character needed to wear. 

I'll Google it, was my first instinct. 

Big mistake. 

I then spent 15 minutes...longer, trying to find the perfect hat for this character - a tangible detail that's not even important!

But I did find a hat. 

While I may have digressed, I clicked back onto word to continue. 

But it was gone. 

My focus, my ready mindset, my ideas, my inspiration and my motivation. They had deserted me. 

That small amount of time digressing had cost me. 

I looked at the words at the screen and went 'meh.' In frustration and sadness I then jumped on here to tell you about it - another digression. 

I find it happens to me all the time - and I hate it. We all do when it happens. But that's just it; it happens. 

If I take one thing from this, it shouldn't be negative. 

I chose to take from this that, even if it stopped my flow, my character (even if he has a smallish part) now has a hat. 

It's a Stingy Brim; if you were wondering. 

Milkshake Meme

It's no secret I love memes. 
I could spend all day looking at them and I've even created my own - I'll leave that for another post though. 
Ages ago; like, a really long time folks, I saw a meme that a friend had posted on their wall. 
It was one of the Stare Dad memes - one I haven't seen much of, thus not a favourite. 
But I loved this one

Thank you Memebase.com & original creator - love it :)  

Today I was reminded of it again - and while only thinking about it I laughed at it...again. 

For those who don't understand it (there might be some of you) the meme is referencing Kelis' song Milkshake, which embarrassingly I have on my Ipod. 

It got me thinking of the song itself. I was only in year Five or so when it was released so a lot of the adult content was lost on me. 

I remember walking around school with a friend when she announced to me what 'milkshake' actually meant. I was shocked and impressed at the same time. 

Looking down at my own 'milkshakes' I came to the conclusion that they wouldn't be bringing any boys to my yard. 

Hell, I still think that now! 

And I was right. 

Looking back, I'm surprised (though a lot of it was lost on me anyway, like I said before) that I was listening to that type of music at such an age. 

I grew up in a house where rock music was like a god. When I listen to some of those rock lyrics now, I'm surprised I turned out as normal as I did. 

As an adult, I hate witnessing the music that Littlies are being subjected to. Typically, I believe that music is forever being more explicit and whatnot - a lot worse than the music that I listened to. 

It reminds me of something a Uni Lecturer told our class - kids are reaching puberty a lot earlier these days. 

And the music they listen to shows that.

But that's expected, isn't it? To think that those younger than you will end up worse than you did, because you know better, lived in a better time. 

While it's universally acknowledged that the older generation think this, what goes unrecognised that (even if it's only a couple of years) younger generations think the same of younger people than them.

Whoa, I've gone a tad away from memes, but it's all connected, I suppose. 

While I tut over the next over the top music sensation, I'll search for new memes. 

Keep an eye out folks! 

Got any favourite memes? 

Feel free to post a comment!  

My Brother Failed A Class - And My Parents did What?

A couple of weeks ago my brother made a terrible mistake - he slept in. 

This wouldn't be so bad if he hadn't slept through....an exam. 

He got to take the exam again - though his grade would be on a pass or fail basis. 

While my parents weren't impressed, I feel like they didn't give him the punishment that he probably should have deserved. He was mighty lucky to get to take the exam again - but with a pass/fail grade, my brother needed more than that to do well in this class. 

Fast forward a couple weeks later and he's been playing games ALL DAY! 

He's been doing nothing else - except for eating and whatnot. 

Yesterday his results arrived. 

There wasn't really a stand out class - and surprise, surprise he didn't do to well in this exam he missed. 

Actually he failed. 

This was the first time either one of us has actually failed a school subject. I'm still shocked that he actually managed to fail - it's unusual for anyone to fail anything at my old College/High School - they keep a close eye on you. 

But it's not really a wonder when I think about it. 

He plays games all night - on weekends; every opportunity he gets he plays Internet games with his friends. 

What's done, is done. And still he sits there playing his laptop. 

The thing that gets me though is that Mum and Dad didn't do anything about it. 

They weren't impressed (obviously) but apart from a quick 'this is very disappointing...' nothing else went down. So, still he sits - playing his game. 

He gets it from Mum - all she does nowadays is play her Ipad. Like, literally it's all she does is play games as well. She's even having a "rum night" to celebrate this war thing her alliance is having - so, bloody nerdy and stupid, right? 

My brother is in year 12 this year - and he's working towards his ATAR (his score) to get into a University. At this rate, I'm wondering if he'll even make a good enough grade - and what will happen if he keeps failing classes. 

He's almost an adult but he lacks in everything! He has no domestic skills; he can't iron for example, he has little social skills - no work skills. He's falling behind. 

I know that I'm the same - while I have some things under control, there's a lot in my life I need to get sorted; learning to drive for instants. 

I know how it feels to lack, and it sucks - I really don't want my brother to go down that same path. But I fear I might be too late. 

:/ 

Trust me to get a Full Time Job When the Altador Cup is on

Because I'm really cool like, about a year ago I indulged in an old childhood game and reconnected with Neopets. 

Destruct-O-Match!!!!

When I was younger I would usually talk on the Newbies board and do little else, except for some Destruct-O-Match; that game was epic! I could play it all day long. 
Then a time came where I got too old (and busy) to play; I got bored and I may have been given one to many suspensions from the game (oops). 
When I decided to reconnect in late July last year - my post can be read right here, people - I wasn't into it; at first. 
My post talks about how the game had changed and I wasn't really a fan - but to be honest the game grew on me. 
This was a new beginning and I decided my new account would be different. 
I started paying attention to my Neopet - giving him food he wanted, playing games with him, paying attention to his Pet-Pet thing, making him happy, full and - for the first time - levelling him up. 
I'd never levelled up any of my Neopets before, and I was keen to get going. 
It's been a year and my little Moehog is a grand total of level 6! He would be higher, but I don't want to rush him into anything - he has to go to training school...anyway, that's not important. 
A part of the game allows you to look up other users - you can see how long they've had an account, what Neopets they have and their stats; but it also shows you game trophies and site trophies that they have received. 
This was it. 
My new goal on Neopets. 
I needed game trophies and I would work my hardest to get some. And I have! Not many, I think I only have a few - but some of them are not easy to get! 
Then, at the end of May this year, a buzz went around the site about the Altador Cup. 
I had never heard of it before!
I soon found out that it's the Neopets version of the Olympic Games. It's a yearly competition (that goes throughout the month of June) that all the worlds compete in. 
As a player you can chose a world to side with and you play these games (there's four) that only appear in the Cup. 
From memory, I had never heard of the Altador Cup - though I wasn't big on these things in my old account anyway.
I didn't really know what to expect; how competitive it was, what the games would be, who were the teams to beat and which one I should join - but I decided.....I had to participate in this years Cup! 
So it began. 
I picked team Tyrannia and have never looked back. They were friendly on the boards, and I was pretty good at the games for a Newbie. 
You have a rank that follows you throughout the Games, and when the Cup is over people can look at your Altador Games Statistics - *gulp* no pressure or anything. 
I made a commitment that I would play everyday - I had nothing else on anyway. 
I wasn't a hardcore gamer, and I was starting to fall behind those people who play it (literally!) all day long. But I wasn't far behind. 

Then it happened, the title of my post. 
I, Daydreamer, by some miracle, got a job. One where they actually pay you, like real money. 
But it wasn't just any job. With my Uni break I'm free all of the time - and with those sorts of hours available - I began working full time. 

If I thought I was falling behind on the Cup scores then, it was nothing to how I feel now. 

*I would also like to take this time to say yes - this is why I haven't blogged in a long time. Sorry. 

Today I have a day off; yay! And I took the opportunity to play some games to boost my Cup scores. I even managed to make it to rank 2. For me that's a big thing but for others, they were rank 2 by the fifth day of the games! 
I can't see myself getting a higher rank than that - the time has flown and there are only a few more days of the Cup left. 
I'm also back to work tomorrow. 

So my commitment may have flown through the floor - and trust me to get a full time job when I finally have something going on - OK, not that the Cup is important or anything but for some people, it is. 
While I wouldn't trade my job for all the All-Star Ranks in the Cup, it would've been nice if I had gotten a higher rank than level 2. 

I'll also try and Blog more - having a job is no excuse to be slack. 

If you're a Neopets player, and participated in the Cup, I'd love to hear from you. 
What team did you join? 
What were your personal goals and did you achieve them?
Though I didn't get as much playing time as I would have liked, I loved the Altador Cup and enjoyed the time I did have playing. 
I can't wait till next year! 

Ugga, Ugg - Tyrannia!

Writing Warriors: Bouncing Back After Rejection

It has happened. 
The journal I submitted my work to replied to my email. It wasn't good. 
The email itself was sweet and optimistic for the future. 
At first glance it looks like a personal email, written only for you. It softens the blow, however it's just a stark, polite email sent to all it's failed writers, I'm sure.  
I remember reading it thinking 'OK, well that turned out this way' and I felt indifferent about it. 
Then I started really thinking about it. 
They didn't want my work. 
It got worse. 
They don't like me, they accept other work - what's wrong with mine? I'm a failure and this writing thing is never going to work.  
It started to get personal and very depressing. 
I got angry, vowing I would never submit work into that journal again. Even thinking that I would submit into other journals that would accept my work, and I would be a big success and this journal would be regretting not taking my words of amazingness!!! 
I can be a bit melodramatic at times. 
Last night to say I was upset was an understatement. 
I needed to think back to what my lecturers have been saying. Rejection is apart of the writing world. 
Everyone (at some point) will have that letter/email saying that the certain publication doesn't want your work - be it a one page poem, or a thousand page novel. 
I needed to have a good cry about it (and a good punch up with the punching bag) and get over it. 
Which I think I am now. 
But there's still one thing bugging me. 
This morning I had a look at the email. I opened the link to take me to my poem. I read the first line and stopped. 
I hated it. I felt stupid for submitting it, of course they didn't want it, it sucks! I read more and felt like laughing at it - it's that dumb. 
But I'm wrong. It's not a bad poem. Yes, it needs to be polished. Things could be different and made better; that's always the case. 
Right now I can't even look at my work. I started writing something in the early (really early) hours of the morning in a blur of tears, which I don't dare read back. 
Last night I had an epiphany that I was going to polish this rejected poem up and send it off somewhere else - see what happens there. 
It might have to wait though - I need allowed time to grieve. 

Worry Warts: From Phone Calls to New Jobs

Out of all of the flaws I believe I have, my ability to worry is at the top of the list. 

I worry about everything. 

Character by Roger Hargreaves

I'm worse than Mr. Worry on windy day - or an ordinary one come to think of it. Him and I have a special connection as we both (truly) worry about EVERYTHING. 

Here's an example and the point of my post. 

A few days ago, a friend told me about a new job she has, and (seeing as I haven't worked in who knows how long) I should apply for work there. 

Straight away I was excited - I have been putting off getting a job because of my anxiety (and laziness) and freak out at the prospect of hard work. 

But hearing my friend talk about this job, how much she loves it, how great the people are; made me realise that I should be working and I don't have an excuse not to (Uni has finished for the semester). 

So after keeping it a secret from my parents (I didn't want them to know unless I chickened out), mulling it over with myself for a few days and asking my friend every question I could come up with to douse my fears, I finally made the decision that I had to call. And soon. 

Places were filling up fast and if I didn't call I could miss out completely. And the only thing worse than working for me, was not working. 

I had the owners number, name and any other things my friend could think of ready for the call. 

I just needed the balls to do it. 

Lying in my bed, listening to the music on the radio I thought about everything  I was going to say, how I would say it (got to be confident baby) and try and relax and to not be nervous - it was just an inquiry call after all.

I know I sound a bit silly - but my worrying ability is really that bad. 
Think about it - my friend told me about the job days ago, but it was only this morning I found the courage to say 'Daydreamer, you need a job, you need a life, and more importantly you need money. Call, and if you get a job rejoice - people have to have jobs.' 
So I grabbed the phone and I called. 
It lasted all of a few minutes. 
Said I was interested, that my friend had suggested the job to me, that I was free practically all day everyday. And so it was. 
I start tomorrow. 

What?! 

I knew I should have seen this coming, but thinking about how I start tomorrow has meant Mr. Worry has been joined by this guy....

Copyright: Roger Hargreaves 

I need to remember to breathe and relax. 
To enjoy it and remember that any fears I may have are (more than likely) irrational and that I just need to smile :) 
I'm an organised person, easy to get to know, and I do work hard - everything else is out of my control and at the end of the day it comes down to my ability as a worker, keeping my head down, and my chin up. 
Thinking about these things keeps my anxiety, worrying thoughts, and nerves at bay. 
So I really just need to look at the positives of the situation. 
Hopefully that can put a damper on my Worry Warts; Until tomorrow at least. 

Being a Virgin is Making me Miss out on Some Serious Fun.

So I'm a total Single Pringle - I say it all the time, mostly complaining about it.
Guys never (and I mean NEVER) seem interested in me. And when they do, I'm not interested in them like that and I never was (nor will be).

Then on Friday I went out with friends for a birthday Friday. Let the loose morals and drinking begin! 
We hit a few bars, then ended up at the hipster bar I mentioned in May. 
We waited at the bar, when a guy stood in front of me and wished me a happy birthday (we had a birthday crown, which the Birthday Girl refused to wear, so it ended up being traded around) and we started talking. 
One of my more confident friends took over and got a free drink from it - I didn't mind, the guy was a bit older than me so I wasn't interested. 
We left the bar with a new friend - yep, the guy, let's call him Cradle Snatcher, decided to tag along with us. 
He started hitting it off with Miss Confidence as we hit dance floors, took shots, and pushed and shoved our way through the crowds. 
We then decided to go to a club notorious for old pervs, slutty women, sticky floors, and a ghost town (you don't go unless you want to die!)

I was standing at the bar (behind my friends) when Cradle Snatcher handed me a drink and we sat down. As the others joined us and began to chat, he whispered to me that I was the one he was after. That's why he started talking to me and admitted he was disappointed when Miss Confidence took over. 

Together we left the bar and as a group we hit Maccas (that's MacDonald's for my overseas readers) when some of my friends decided to go home. 
A friend and I decided to stay, waving goodbye to our other friends and Cradle Snatcher who was standing in line with them. 
My friend had a go at me - 
"Give him your number, he was into you", "You were both so cute sitting together," "He's hot, go for it."
But he was in line and we decided to walk off. 
My friend (The Pixie) was in desperate need for water, so we went back to the Hipster bar. 
On our way, a guy came up to us (from behind) and said 'wait up!"
It was Cradle Snatcher. Turns out he wasn't heading home and saying goodbye to Miss Confidence and Birthday girl before they left. 
Because we were going where we found Cradle Snatcher in the first place, he came with and went looking for his friends when we got there. 
Pixie got her water, and was chatting to some blokes when Cradle Snatcher came back. He held me close and took me back to his friends (after I grabbed The Pixie away from some old dude). 

The Pixie decided it was time to go and I agreed. I (thanks to The Pixie) gave my number to Cradle Snatcher and gave him a pash before I left. 

Now this is where my title comes into the story:- 

When I got home I received a text from Cradle Snatcher. Calling me cute, saying he wished I hadn't left and that he thought I had a smokin' bod. 
He wanted me to meet him again - right now. 
It was obvious what he wanted and to be honest I wanted it too. 
But there was one problem.
I'm a virgin. 
I'm a 20 year old virgin.
Usually it doesn't bother me - the right guy hasn't come along (probably never will, but anyway) and I haven't lost it yet. Just how it is. 

But I realised (as I flirted with Cradle Snatcher) that being a virgin is stopping me from meeting up with this guy, and having some fun. 

My virginity is holding me back. 

I'm young, free and have a great arse (thank you Mediterranean background). 
I want to go out and have fun - there's nothing wrong with that. 
But I know I don't want to lose it to anyone - especially if they're only looking for fun. 

I guess that means that there's only one option.....

Verydemotivational.com