It has happened.
The journal I submitted my work to replied to my email. It wasn't good.
The email itself was sweet and optimistic for the future.
At first glance it looks like a personal email, written only for you. It softens the blow, however it's just a stark, polite email sent to all it's failed writers, I'm sure.
I remember reading it thinking 'OK, well that turned out this way' and I felt indifferent about it.
Then I started really thinking about it.
They didn't want my work.
It got worse.
They don't like me, they accept other work - what's wrong with mine? I'm a failure and this writing thing is never going to work.
It started to get personal and very depressing.
I got angry, vowing I would never submit work into that journal again. Even thinking that I would submit into other journals that would accept my work, and I would be a big success and this journal would be regretting not taking my words of amazingness!!!
I can be a bit melodramatic at times.
Last night to say I was upset was an understatement.
I needed to think back to what my lecturers have been saying. Rejection is apart of the writing world.
Everyone (at some point) will have that letter/email saying that the certain publication doesn't want your work - be it a one page poem, or a thousand page novel.
I needed to have a good cry about it (and a good punch up with the punching bag) and get over it.
Which I think I am now.
But there's still one thing bugging me.
This morning I had a look at the email. I opened the link to take me to my poem. I read the first line and stopped.
I hated it. I felt stupid for submitting it, of course they didn't want it, it sucks! I read more and felt like laughing at it - it's that dumb.
But I'm wrong. It's not a bad poem. Yes, it needs to be polished. Things could be different and made better; that's always the case.
Right now I can't even look at my work. I started writing something in the early (really early) hours of the morning in a blur of tears, which I don't dare read back.
Last night I had an epiphany that I was going to polish this rejected poem up and send it off somewhere else - see what happens there.
It might have to wait though - I need allowed time to grieve.
Showing posts with label Literary Journals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Literary Journals. Show all posts
Sunday, 9 June 2013
Saturday, 16 February 2013
Being a Writing Coward.
If you're not aware, I'm in the precipice of being a writer...well kind of.
I'm a writing student at University, I write (almost) everyday, read a lot (thank you Uni readings) and...well...I just want to be one, OK? I don't need to justify it to you; though I was the one who started it.
Through Uni, they've given us a range of tools to get our works published.
Techniques on storytelling, writing and editing our work,
The expectations of publishers, the knock backs and the comebacks we'll have to deal with AKA preparation for the real writing world,
The chance to work with people in the writing industry, both locally and internationally and in a vast range of genres.
Another tool they have given us (well lead us to) are literary journals; magazines waiting for your unpublished, fantastic prose to print. Whether it's poetry, short stories, non-fiction; if it's good enough, they'll publish it.
The idea of an actual journal publishing my work is the most exciting thing I can think of.
Despite most of these journals being small, local, hardly read by anyone and not-for-profit - few journals pay money for your work; they don't have the funds - I still (badly) want my work to be in one of those journals.
I've had a look around and found a couple of local journals that encourage local writers. I think this is a good place for me to start.
I have even narrowed it down and after look at some (buying them is a good idea to get a feel of what they're after) I have even chosen which one I'd like to send my work to.
Yes; I have a piece of work waiting to be sent. I wrote it late at night weeks ago (I found out some news that made me angry and hence a good muse for my writing) and since then I've edited it, formatted it, read it over and over and if I had to be honest - I quite like it.
Then doubt creeps in.
I keep thinking that it's not good enough; that the editors will take one look at it, burst into laughter and send a "are you serious, this is the worst crap we have ever read" email back to me.
I know it's silly, and even if it is crap (which it is) they'd never put it in those words.
It's a horrifying thought, thinking that someone, somewhere (and being a small city, not far away from me) is looking at my work and deciding whether it's good enough for print - no matter how small that publisher is.
I have a deadline; submissions for issue 4 are due early March; if I don't send my work in by then I'll be kicking myself, and I will have the nervous wait of the next issue submissions (months away).
If I do send it in, I'll be kicking myself; what was I thinking; my work isn't good enough to be in one of those lit mags!
I'll never know until I try. The bottom line is; if I don't hand anything in - then it will most certainly never get published.
I just need to get over my Cowardly Lion act over writing:
"I do believe in books, I do believe in books, I do, I do, I do, I do."
I'm a writing student at University, I write (almost) everyday, read a lot (thank you Uni readings) and...well...I just want to be one, OK? I don't need to justify it to you; though I was the one who started it.
Through Uni, they've given us a range of tools to get our works published.
Techniques on storytelling, writing and editing our work,
The expectations of publishers, the knock backs and the comebacks we'll have to deal with AKA preparation for the real writing world,
The chance to work with people in the writing industry, both locally and internationally and in a vast range of genres.
Another tool they have given us (well lead us to) are literary journals; magazines waiting for your unpublished, fantastic prose to print. Whether it's poetry, short stories, non-fiction; if it's good enough, they'll publish it.
The idea of an actual journal publishing my work is the most exciting thing I can think of.
Despite most of these journals being small, local, hardly read by anyone and not-for-profit - few journals pay money for your work; they don't have the funds - I still (badly) want my work to be in one of those journals.
I've had a look around and found a couple of local journals that encourage local writers. I think this is a good place for me to start.
I have even narrowed it down and after look at some (buying them is a good idea to get a feel of what they're after) I have even chosen which one I'd like to send my work to.
Yes; I have a piece of work waiting to be sent. I wrote it late at night weeks ago (I found out some news that made me angry and hence a good muse for my writing) and since then I've edited it, formatted it, read it over and over and if I had to be honest - I quite like it.
Then doubt creeps in.
I keep thinking that it's not good enough; that the editors will take one look at it, burst into laughter and send a "are you serious, this is the worst crap we have ever read" email back to me.
I know it's silly, and even if it is crap (which it is) they'd never put it in those words.
It's a horrifying thought, thinking that someone, somewhere (and being a small city, not far away from me) is looking at my work and deciding whether it's good enough for print - no matter how small that publisher is.
I have a deadline; submissions for issue 4 are due early March; if I don't send my work in by then I'll be kicking myself, and I will have the nervous wait of the next issue submissions (months away).
If I do send it in, I'll be kicking myself; what was I thinking; my work isn't good enough to be in one of those lit mags!
I'll never know until I try. The bottom line is; if I don't hand anything in - then it will most certainly never get published.
I just need to get over my Cowardly Lion act over writing:
"I do believe in books, I do believe in books, I do, I do, I do, I do."
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