My Fantasies are getting Wayyyyy out of Control.

From as young as I can remember (well at least from year 5, anyway) I have lived my love life in fantasy. 
Being a nerdy, ugly, shy, funny child and teenager meant that boys didn't exactly come knocking on my door. At all. 
So, to make up for my lacking (or non-existent) love life I daydreamed it in my head. 
When I was younger, it was of boys from my school. It never left the school yard and usually involved the same guy for a long period of time; I had limited choices. 
I got to High School and while my fantasies stayed in the school community, a wider choice of guys meant I could be more fickle with my crushes and my, well...err, "boyfriends". 
Then it started to spread into the world of Hollywood - celebrities galore! Hooray! I remember I

Google Images 

had the biggest crush on Max Benitz who played Midshipman Calamy in Russell Crowe's Master and Commander. It literally lasted for years....even thinking about it now......OK Daydreamer, come back to reality girl! 
As I grew older my needs became more dire and the same fantasy grew old very quickly. 
I had different fantasies all over the place. People I knew, celebrities, people I'd make up, book characters, my "ideal" man, etc. 
Then I grew up. 
Sort of. 
I still fantasise. In fact I do it more than ever. 
Instead of outlandish events that would never happen, with guys that are way out of my league/don't know I exist/ too young/old; the guys in my fantasies became more realistic. They became men. Real men that I could have a relationship with. 
I started dating myself, had a better idea of what relationships involved and just basically became an adult about these things. 
They weren't all the time (because, you know, as a young female it can literally take up ALL of your day) and they were in moderation. 
Recently though I'm finding I'm getting more outlandish with my fantasies again. Not good. 
A few weeks ago I discovered this small town band - they're from my town actually, and I even know people who are friends with the band members. 
One of these said band members is quite the attractive fellow, and these past weeks have found me daydreaming about this guy and how great he is. And more importantly, how great we'd be as a couple. 
I haven't even met the guy. 
It's starting to get bad. 
The band has a YouTube channel, which hasn't been updated in over a year. But they'd find an increase in their video views. My bad. 
Don't get me wrong, I love their music but I know I wouldn't be watching it if he wasn't in it. 
So it's begun again. Daydreamer's wild, out there fantasies about love have taken over once more. 
I think I'll need a guy in one of my Uni classes to sweep me off my feet instead. 
That will never happen though. 
Not in real life anyway....

Google Images: Daydreaming Bubble.

Midnight Drives and Responsible Decisions.

Last night I was invited to go for a midnight drive with one of my mates. 
Not a 'makin' mayhem' type of drive where the passengers are up to no good - this was a 'need to get out of the house and the situation I'm in drive' where we go to a location and relax; no rough housing at all. 
Luckily for me (though I didn't know this at the time) I had Uni in the morning, it was cold and to be honest, I really didn't want to go. So I declined. 
I declined despite I knew that there would be a special guest. 
So there was my friend (the driver), a mutual friend of ours - and the guest; a man friend of the driver, who (she made clear) was very single. 
Despite my cat-like curiosity I stayed home and today messaged her about how it went. 
The guest didn't go - after I was going she told him not to bother. OK definitely a set up situation. 
I wasn't up to coyness so I asked who he was. She told me. 
Now I've never met him personally and there was a reason why:
Not only is he an ex of the setter-upper-er, he's a douche (took her on dangerous car rides (go figure)) and a complete bogan/country arse. 

She tried to set me up with him!? 

Not only was a receiving her leftovers but she knew what he was like and that we would be TOTALLY wrong for each other in absolutely every way. 

I think there's something more going on here - there's no way she though we would actually date or that I would even consider him - it just wouldn't happen. 
I'm now starting to doubt her motives. 
Like some screwed over, retired spy - urgh. there's something wrong with me. 

I always thought being set up by a friend would be exciting, fun and he'd be my perfect match. But this was wrong on so many levels. 
I'm super glad I didn't go on last nights drive; I hate to think how I would have taken it at the time (over the computer was bad enough). 

She's not one of my favourite friends - she's full of drama and melodramas over everything. She only hangs out with me and a guy friend of ours. Our other friends are smart enough to keep their distance - maybe I should do the same. 

Thank God I have Uni to distract me. 

I Must be a Jinx! Or Have one Near Me

So in my earlier post today (I'd put a link up but I'm too annoyed) I talked about how I was going out tonight.  
I do this all the time. I plan things, I get excited about things, I imagine it in my head, I talk about it, I think about it and it takes up my whole day/week/s. 
Obsessive? Hey, I'm a daydreamer - dreaming is what I do.
Then, like some sort of jinx, the outing gets cancelled. 
Cue the excuses:
"I'm too tired,"
"Uni is busy,"
"I have musical rehearsals,"
"I have work,"
All I hear is "blah, blah, blah" and "don't want to hang out with you Daydreamer." 
I know it's nothing personal - shit, I hope it isn't, but it totally sucks to be turned down by everyone because of one reason or another. 
I'm devastated. 
And I think I have the right to. I was looking forward to go out, we haven't gone out in ages and this was our one night to go out before Uni started and everything. 
But it's not happening. 
Once again I have to get used to not going out, staying in and making plans on my own. Like some loney loner. Ergh. 

Open a bottle of wine guys. It's going to be a long night. 

Post Before Uni Starts and I Get too Busy to Write

Hey People. 
This week is O Week for my Uni, so it starts real soon. With work and whatever else I have on, I'm starting to wonder when I'll have time to sit down and write - with anything, not just this blog. 
I thought then, that I should write a quick post before I put my nerd glasses on and hit the books. 
So what to write about? 
A few things come to mind: 

The first is that I'm going out tonight :D yay. I would be more excited if two people hadn't of bailed. I get the feeling that the others will as well and I'll be stuck at home drinking cider and watching Bridget Jones' Diary under my bed covers. 

Second was the news story about the two Canadian boys killed by a giant python. I don't want to dwell on such a horrific story (if you wish to take a look you can view the story by clicking this text) but I was shocked to find out that the snake was *quote news reader* "destroyed". I couldn't understand how they could kill a snake for doing what a snake does. If anything the handler should have been 'destroyed' for being so stupid and reckless. 

Thirdly there's Uni. Unit Outlines are out, classes are sorted, and we go back next week. I'm both excited and nervous! I know I freak out about everything and when I get back into the swing of things it will get better, but for now I'm freaking out! 

Neopets is my most used tab. Not exactly an exciting fourth topic to talk about, yet for me it kind of is. It's overtaken Facebook and Gmail (which has held the top spot for months now) which I thought could never happen. That shows how addicted I've become to the game! 

Er, I think that's about it for now. 
I don't know when I'll be posting again (though now I've said that, it will probably be tomorrow) but hopefully I wont be gone for too long and there will be a post occasionally through Uni semester. 

<3 Daydreamer.