My Fantasies are getting Wayyyyy out of Control.

From as young as I can remember (well at least from year 5, anyway) I have lived my love life in fantasy. 
Being a nerdy, ugly, shy, funny child and teenager meant that boys didn't exactly come knocking on my door. At all. 
So, to make up for my lacking (or non-existent) love life I daydreamed it in my head. 
When I was younger, it was of boys from my school. It never left the school yard and usually involved the same guy for a long period of time; I had limited choices. 
I got to High School and while my fantasies stayed in the school community, a wider choice of guys meant I could be more fickle with my crushes and my, well...err, "boyfriends". 
Then it started to spread into the world of Hollywood - celebrities galore! Hooray! I remember I

Google Images 

had the biggest crush on Max Benitz who played Midshipman Calamy in Russell Crowe's Master and Commander. It literally lasted for years....even thinking about it now......OK Daydreamer, come back to reality girl! 
As I grew older my needs became more dire and the same fantasy grew old very quickly. 
I had different fantasies all over the place. People I knew, celebrities, people I'd make up, book characters, my "ideal" man, etc. 
Then I grew up. 
Sort of. 
I still fantasise. In fact I do it more than ever. 
Instead of outlandish events that would never happen, with guys that are way out of my league/don't know I exist/ too young/old; the guys in my fantasies became more realistic. They became men. Real men that I could have a relationship with. 
I started dating myself, had a better idea of what relationships involved and just basically became an adult about these things. 
They weren't all the time (because, you know, as a young female it can literally take up ALL of your day) and they were in moderation. 
Recently though I'm finding I'm getting more outlandish with my fantasies again. Not good. 
A few weeks ago I discovered this small town band - they're from my town actually, and I even know people who are friends with the band members. 
One of these said band members is quite the attractive fellow, and these past weeks have found me daydreaming about this guy and how great he is. And more importantly, how great we'd be as a couple. 
I haven't even met the guy. 
It's starting to get bad. 
The band has a YouTube channel, which hasn't been updated in over a year. But they'd find an increase in their video views. My bad. 
Don't get me wrong, I love their music but I know I wouldn't be watching it if he wasn't in it. 
So it's begun again. Daydreamer's wild, out there fantasies about love have taken over once more. 
I think I'll need a guy in one of my Uni classes to sweep me off my feet instead. 
That will never happen though. 
Not in real life anyway....

Google Images: Daydreaming Bubble.

I Must be a Jinx! Or Have one Near Me

So in my earlier post today (I'd put a link up but I'm too annoyed) I talked about how I was going out tonight.  
I do this all the time. I plan things, I get excited about things, I imagine it in my head, I talk about it, I think about it and it takes up my whole day/week/s. 
Obsessive? Hey, I'm a daydreamer - dreaming is what I do.
Then, like some sort of jinx, the outing gets cancelled. 
Cue the excuses:
"I'm too tired,"
"Uni is busy,"
"I have musical rehearsals,"
"I have work,"
All I hear is "blah, blah, blah" and "don't want to hang out with you Daydreamer." 
I know it's nothing personal - shit, I hope it isn't, but it totally sucks to be turned down by everyone because of one reason or another. 
I'm devastated. 
And I think I have the right to. I was looking forward to go out, we haven't gone out in ages and this was our one night to go out before Uni started and everything. 
But it's not happening. 
Once again I have to get used to not going out, staying in and making plans on my own. Like some loney loner. Ergh. 

Open a bottle of wine guys. It's going to be a long night.