Tuesday 14 May 2013

I Went to A Hipster Bar. Just A Random Story

Something I have never mentioned is this - I don't like hipsters.

There's something about their twee, ray bans glasses and skinny jeans wearing, ironic ironing, obscure band loving personalities that I don't understand.
I don't want to get into the the revolution of the hipster, but I will say this. For a group of people who survive on the notion of being unidentifiable, it is very easy to pin-point one out. Or have they done that deliberately - to be ironic?
God, I don't know.

I think I only hate them (hate is such a strong word though) because as a normal person - well kinda - I'm supposed to not like them. Isn't that how it goes?

So it was with a cautious mind (and a body full of alcohol) that I stumbled into a bar 1am on Friday Morning. This little bar in Canberra is notoriously known to be a hipster bar - the bar for the weirdos and outcasts. I wont mention it, even if it would be a good plug (not that anyone from Canberra actually reads this, mind you).

It wasn't my plan to stumble into the bar, by the way. My friends and I were off somewhere else when we arrived outside their pub door. Someone said, "hey let's go in here," and before I knew it I was handing my ID to the bouncer.

Oh, quick story about the bouncer - as you know I celebrated my 20th birthday last Monday, and looking at my ID card, the bouncer wished me a happy birthday. He then mentioned that his birthday was also in May (go figure!) and giving me a fist bump, he let me inside.

So as you could imagine I was feeling hyped-up when  I walked inside. Straight away I could smell it. My exact thoughts were:
It smells like hipster in here. 
OK, so I don't know what a hipster is supposed to smell like, nor one of their bars. I think I was so off my face that I was looking for an excuse to bag the bar out - even if the bouncer was the best May birthday Bouncer around.

My friends and I sat on one of their couches and in less than five minutes, a tan looking guy has sat on our table. Like, I mean, literally on the table.
I can't tell you much about our conversation. Not because I can't remember it, but because he was so drunk and his speech was so slurred, I don't think anyone could understand a full sentence he said. He called me beautiful (naw, modern love story. HA!) and I was confused about the person who I couldn't understand a word from.
He didn't look like a hipster. He didn't have the glasses, the beard or moustache, the Mr. Know It All demeanour, the flannel shirt and even though he wore jeans, they weren't the skinny type; not that I was looking.

While I was talking to Mr. Tan Man the Slurred, I realised two of my friends were joined by another.
Where in the hell did he come from? 
I had no idea how long he'd been there but some other dude had made himself comfy on the couch.
I noticed our table now had 5 drinks.
One was Mr. Tan's, one must of been for this random guy - and the other three? Well this other dude must have been feeling generous that night.

I turned my attention to this new guy; we are going to call him Tattoo man. He was covered in them! I also noticed they were all inspired by the female figure. Some of which were his exes apparently. And they all were voluptuous on top - just thought I'd give you a visual.
He was talking about the human brain - complete bullsh*t. While he went on trying to impress my friends with his know how attitude, I realised we had come across a more usual figure that would be seen in this bar. I wouldn't call him a hipster, per say, more like a deadbeat who likes to smoke acid in Sydney (another one of his stories).
He had a beard thing going on, a piercing on his right eyebrow, but  I can't remember what clothes he was wearing. But his face said it all - I had come across a native bar dweller.

I looked around the bar - it was full of hipster men. They all had the costumes (sorry I mean, clothes), the beards, the old man hats, the beers (though it was a bar), the conversations of know-it-all's (I mean intellectual people) and the smell - which is unidentifiable - Oh, my, god - is that irony right there?!

I also noticed for the first time the hipster women. Two of them were standing near the bar. If I hadn't been in a hipster bar I would have thought they were lesbians (but now I'm just being a b*tch). Jeans, casual tees and short, short hair (not that those are identifiers for a lesbian, but whatever).

There was also one on another couch opposite to us. She was sprawled on the couch like she owned the place. Long dark hair, kinda tanned (but that could've been the lighting) and wearing mismatched clothes. 
She kept a close eye on the guys that walked past, and when one sat next to her, she was attentive and keen. I think she was trying to pick up, but I don't know how their minds work. 

I realise, I haven't actually talked much about the bar. Sorry. 
The bar itself was small - but I liked that. 
It was cosy (and more importantly) warm and all the odd stuff they had on the wall was interesting and fun to look at - not that I remember what they were. 
The music they played (when  I recognised what they were) were 'old-school' and ones I haven't heard in a long time. 

The bar itself was a cute and great place to hang out. The people I think, less so; but I'm biased. 

This post was to say that I have officially been to a hipster bar. And I mingled with the people who dwell there. 



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